Dating After Divorce – What To Do First

If you just got over from a divorce, you may ask,

where should I start


What should I do? Well, the first thing you should put into consideration is yourself. Look at yourself, the things you do, the things you are and what you have as a value.

What do I mean by “as Value”?  Well the world works on something called value. Our dollar bill has a value given to it by nothing more than society agreeing that it stands for a certain amount of value. There is nothing behind that dollar that makes it worth any value except what we give it. When you meet people they will size you up based on the value you offer as a person. I am sure that as you are reading this, you may say, no they don’t, or not everyone is like that. Well, on a logical and conscious level you are right. But I am not talking about them overtly thinking about this and making determinations based on logical overt thoughts in their head. It’s a sub conscious process that happens behind the scenes in our heads that is not even noticeable to our minds when we are doing it, but we do it, all of us. It’s a part of human nature and evolution. 

I am not just talking about money or toys or other material things. As a matter of fact it usually has more to do with social value. You have to know that you can make yourself much more valuable to people by improving yourself. To improve ourselves and to give more value to others may sound little outwardly approval seeking, (which is very bad and we will describe in more detail later), but it isn’t what we are talking about here. It’s about not being a stick in the mud and thinking that doing nothing for you is somehow being non approval seeking. We are talking about realizing how the world works at an animalistic level and learning how to become the best we can be for ourselves, not for others. It’s the side benefit of becoming more valuable to others that is the great intangible thing we don’t realize which can help us keep motivated.

It is very important to dive into learning about yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses. Find out where and what you want to do better in it. For our purposes we will assume it is dating and social life. Let’s face it; if you want to be very successful at dating, you have to be better at being social. They come hand in hand and when you get better at them both your life becomes so much better in every way. One factor is attractiveness from the physical appearance perspective. Many in this industry will tell you that looks don’t matter. And I will agree to a certain extent. Yes, you don’t have to be the best looking guy, and as a matter of fact being very good looking can be a disadvantage at most times.

Improving yourself to be the best you can be is a very positive thing for you to do for yourself and for your social life. Become the best you that you can be. This is a very important point here. I am not, and no one should ever, try and compare themselves and rate themselves to others. EVER! It’s not helpful; it is not based in anything that improves you. You are you, and your intricacies are what make you. No one is like you and so there is nothing to compare you with others but your old you. But you can improve a lot about yourself to make a more attractive you.